Jack's Manual

Navigation

How to Hide that Hangover

So you made a mistake. Your unemployed buddy’s insistence on buying everyone Jager bombs turned your work-night happy hour into an all-nighter. It’s all good. Happens to the best of us. Now comes the hard part: convincing your coworkers that you got tons of sleep and that you’re taking Alka Seltzer because of that breakfast taco you just ate.

We’re not interested in folk remedies that claim to do what’s scientifically impossible — namely, making copious amounts of alcohol disappear from your body without symptoms. What we can do, though, is help you mask the unmistakable signs that you were imbibing while your teetotaling boss wishes you were dreaming about TPS reports.

Try to obscure the windows to your soul.

Puffy, tired-looking eyes are an unmistakable sign of someone who didn’t get enough rest, and if a coworker asks, that’s totally why your eyes look the way they do. For times like this, your best bet is to have a tube of our Eye Balm De-Puffing and Cooling Gel on hand. The cooling gel works to de-puff, refresh, and hydrate tired-looking eyes. The stainless-steel roller ball applicator soothes on contact while also preventing swelling and puffiness. For added benefit, keep the tube stored in your refrigerator when not in use.

Wash away the funk.

There are days when skipping a morning shower is acceptable. Today is not that day. Let the rejuvenating scent of Turbo Wash® breathe some life into you while you wash away the dive-bar stink and remove the temporary tattoo from the back of your palm. Trust us: you’ll feel a thousand times better.

Dress like you give a damn — especially if you don’t.

Bet you’ve never looked at someone who’s dressed to the nines and immediately assumed that he had rum punch running through his veins. That’s because we expect people who are hung over to look like it. So thwart expectations by stepping up your grooming game precisely when you feel like taking a day off. Use some Gel Pomade to get the Don Draper look. Apply Double Duty Facial Moisturizer SPF 20 to help improve your skin’s overall appearance and provide lasting hydration.

Illustration by Sally Nixon (@sallustration)

Comments are closed